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The Clown

from End Of Everything by Mega Bog

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  • The Practice of Hell Ending moves like a contemporary lyric epic through the many landscapes of Erin Birgy’s inner and outer worlds. Part dusty mountain walk, part road trip, the poems set up camp at moments of both philosophical and emotional clarity and convulsions, always with Erin’s onrushing language offering a subversive, playful persona and guide. From frenzied, dissected rodeos in the States to louche Grecian beaches, the collection explores how different places and landscapes facilitate and develop old questions around our relationship to both the natural world and each other. Erin maintains a dialogue with lyric and epic poetry whilst spinning a colloquial, freewheeling verse to explore our relationship with our loved ones and the voices inside us, moving toward a rooted, interpersonal, and inviting new language.

    Erin Birgy is an esoteric rodeo child with an unmistakable laugh who was allegedly cursed upon conception. As the musical artist Mega Bog, she has released seven studio albums and toured across the United States and Europe. The Practice of Hell Ending is a companion artifact to the Mega Bog album End of Everything, also released by Mexican Summer. Written alongside the album, The Practice of Hell Ending beckons the reader to travel further into the landscapes of Birgy’s inner worlds.


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    80 pages, 11 Images
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about

“The Clown” is my nuanced homage to Battiato’s flavor of exploring existential curiosities through passionate and more obscure movements, physically and musically.


The trajectory of the song begins bold, but cautious, early steps in personal awareness, the process of surrendering to something outside of lifelong patterns of assuming what our place in the universe might be.


The challenge of relinquishing control over how we might be perceived, especially when “the story” is not universal or completely clear to the self, maybe ever.

So easily shared reality can consume and minimize the personal in a way that has had me dissociating and fantasizing most of my life. In a way where when things were going well on paper, it was hard to trace and felt more like luck or fate, when the work exploring and coming into your own awareness, relationship with your multitudes, including the gore of macro and micro histories is a huge part of anything that resembles beauty/ease, for me, in the present.

- Erin Birgy

lyrics

Sore muscles
I’ve got to go
Home to watch the queen
Do what she do
In the end
Every little dream mattered
All the lines I’ve left are gold

So
How do you see me, now?

Met a young man who said,
“You are everything”
And gave me everything
But I really scared him
Because all I talk about with him is
Beheading young men
Psychic waste I’ve absorbed
Is collapsing, again

So
How do you see me, now?
Am I still that clown
You found charming?

So
How do you see me, now?
You look around
See the black cat is yawning

So
How do you see me, now?
Am I still that clown
You found charming?

So
How do you see me, now?
You look around
You used to love me

So
How do you see me, now?

So
How do you see me, now?

Every little wonder leaves you
Every little wonder wonders, “how?”
Every little wonder wonders
Every wonder wonders, “how far out?”

credits

from End Of Everything, track released February 15, 2023
Erin Birgy - Vocals, Percussion, Sound Effects, Synthesizers, Drum Programming, Arrangements
James Krivchenia - Drum Set, Sound Effects, Percussion
Zach Burba - Electric Bass, Acoustic Guitar, Synthesizers, Percussion
Will Segerstrom - Electric Guitar
Aaron Otheim - Synthesizers

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